Monday, February 26, 2007

Monkey Attack!

...a tale, told by an idiot, signifying...nothing...but monkeys...

We stay in an old gatehouse near Bath and the proprietor is very kind and spends a lot of time talking to me about where we are going etc on our UK trip. Since my traveling companions are an 11 and 12 year old, the itinerary has to be somewhat kid friendly, so I tell him we’re going to drive through Longleat Animal Park. He becomes very specific at this point and said, do not drive into the monkey enclosure’. So, OK. We get there and drive through the place, the kids like it, and then we get to the gate of the monkey enclosure, which is plastered with all these warnings and disclaimers. I figure, hey, we’re on vacation and they’re just monkeys, what could they possibly do? So, we go in, the monkeys all rush to the car and jump on and I’m thinking they’re friendly little buggers. As we're watching the monkeys one jumps on the hood, removes the little plastic device that directs windshield wash water and pops it into his mouth! The little ******* are eating the car! I’m thinking, oh no, it’s a rental! The kids start screaming and I pop the car into gear and screech out of there. Once we were safe, got out to inspect the damage: 3/8” deep tooth marks on all the high-impact (and hard) plastic pieces of the car, some were chewed up completely and everything removable was gone.

Apparently, monkeys, even small ones, are not to be trifled with. Some just have to learn the hard way...a wise person out there invented rental insurance for people just like me--thank you.

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